


In Which Mario Joins A Fanfiction Club

by Bucket_head



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: A singular JoJo reference, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Many Ships Mentioned, Metafiction, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24486046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bucket_head/pseuds/Bucket_head
Summary: Doomed by his own lie, Mario must somehow make it through the day without his deepest, darkest, most sinful secret being revealed. Should he be caught, his life and love are forfeit......Or could his fate hold a path even more depraved than one could imagine?
Relationships: (Onesided) Mario/Peach Toadstool
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	In Which Mario Joins A Fanfiction Club

Mario was a really, really bad liar.

That, in of itself, wasn’t always a bad thing. He didn’t have much practice in lying, and didn’t need it. The obviousness of when he did try to lie seemed to have the effect of being endearing more than upsetting, so even though he scarcely got away with it, people usually weren’t mad. His best chance for actually tricking someone came from half-truths. Things that were just honest enough he didn’t have to fake the answer. Unfortunately, he could never think far ahead enough when accomplishing that. He always ended up backing himself into a corner.

Just like he was in now, clutching a folder of creative writing as he waited to be met by his princess and led into the club room.

What situation had brought him here…? He’d been alone, waiting in between his daily matches at Smash Ultimate, when he’d been struck by inspiration. A muse had possessed him in that instance, channeling it’s dark energy though his hands like a catalyst. He had no time to go somewhere private, no, he needed to write and he needed to write right then. So, he’d fished out his note book and scribbled like a mad man.

It had been the worst possible time to do so, as not a minute later Peach, Daisy, and Rosalina has all rounded the corner together. He’d been mortified, but they were curious, pestering him about what he was writing. Daisy made a grab or two at his book. Her seeing what was in there, telling Peach, was the worst-case scenario. Mario had no choice but to cook up a lie, or more accurately, a half-truth.

Mario admitted he liked to write. That was true. He told them it had been a secret hobby of his for a while. In his rare calm moments between adventures and sports he liked to pull out a notebook and draw out little stories for himself.

He didn’t get the response he expected. He thought Daisy would get bored, Rosalina wouldn’t really care, and Peach would be supportive but generally disinterested. Oh how wrong he was, as all six eyes lit up and the girls insisted he join their writing circle.

Just Mario’s luck, that all the girls at Smash Ultimate had come together to make a creative writing club. Mario had tried the standard means of protest, that it was embarrassing (Peach became so genuinely concerned at convincing him it was ok that Mario had to drop that pretty fast), or that he didn’t want to intrude on an all-girls club (Daisy got on his ass for that), but in the end he was overwhelmed. With a strained smile and a queasy stomach Mario agreed to join next time they met up, and to share some of his writing…

Which lead him to now, and the trouble.

Because Mario did like writing as a secret hobby, and yeah, he did have plenty that was finished and ready to read. Some pretty well written stuff, too, for most of it being in his second language. But what they didn’t know, what no one knew, the one thing no one could possibly ever know…

Was that Mario didn’t write fiction.

He wrote fanfiction.

Not so bad, right? So what if he liked to think of side stories or alternative canon? That wasn’t so odd, wasn’t so unforgivable…

Except Mario didn’t write general fanfiction.

He wrote ships.

Mario groans into his folder. He’d spent all of last night scrambling together something wholly original to share. But it really wasn’t that good without that spark, the burst of ideas that come from seeing two people interact, from imagining what could be…

Just for today. Mario just has to get through the day without letting it slip. He’d never live it down, and Peach…if she found out his life would be really over. She was such a gentle, innocent person. There’s no way she could look at him the same way, finding out his weird obsession with other people’s romance. 

She’d think he was weird. She probably wouldn’t like him as a friend anymore. She…would never like him as something more.

Mario groans again. A bit softer this time.

Sooner rather than later someone comes along. It’s Samus, fully decked out in her Power Suit. Mario gives a little wave at her, as she tilts her head at him. With a slightly nervous chuckle the man assures he was invited, and the bounty hunter nods. There’s an entire stack of work in her arms. Wow. He never knew she was a writer. Let alone so proficient. His handful of thrown together works feel really silly now.

One by one Smashers come over, all with varying amounts of papers. Wii Fit Trainer is the first one there with an actual key, and she lets everyone inside to sit and wait for the rest. Mario awkwardly takes a seat, fiddling with his gloves as everyone else files in.

“Oh, Mario!” When Peach arrives Mario can’t help but light up. She smiles at him so sweetly, bangs swaying across her face as she leans over to him. “I’m so glad you came! It will be so exciting to hear what you have to share. I hope you’ll enjoy my mine as well!”

Mario finds himself blushing way too hard for what’s a normal conversation. “I will. I mean, I bet I will. What, Ah, what do you write about, Princess?”

“I enjoy writing poetry.” She admits with a smile. “Though, not solely. I also like character studies, and, well…” she leans close to him, hiding her hand behind her mouth and whispering “I may have a soft spot for romance stories, as well.”

“Really?” Mario can’t help but light up. Peach liked romance stories? Maybe if that was the case then, maybe what Mario did wasn’t so…

Daisy flicks Peach on the shoulder. “Hey! None of that stuff!”

Corrin and one of the Mii’s nod disapprovingly at the princess. Peach blushes and laughs. “I apologize. I got a touch carried away…”

Oh. Mario wilts a bit, unconsciously tearing at the corners of his folder. Romance must not be one of the topics they’re supposed to write about. If even normal romance wasn’t ok, then there’s no way that Mario’s shipping stuff will be accepted. It really was too weird…

“Shall we start the meeting?” Lucina prompts. A general murmur of agreement goes across the room.

Peach smiles at everyone. “I’ve invited Mario to join us today. He has been writing on his own, so I thought it would be lovely for him to be included.”

Mario blushes a bit, again. He really needs to get that under control or people might start noticing.

“Can I go first?” Pokémon Trainer asks. No one protests, so the young girl opens up her notebook and starts to read off a short story of a Goldeen and a Wailmer becoming friends and saving each other from pirates. It’s cute and sweet. Mario claps genuinely when it’s over, along with everyone. Samus is next, and Mario it pretty blown away to be suddenly wretched into her epic space drama about war and intergalactic politics and enough lore to sink a battleship. Even though it’s just a chapter Mario can feel his brain shutting down from the overload once it’s over. Still it’s got some amazing details in it (the ones Mario could understand). He’s pretty impressed.

Daisy reads off some limericks that make him flush red. They are pretty funny, though. Then Jiggilypuff says…something, presumably reading off her scribbled paper. Lucina, and Wii Fit Trainer…

Then Peach speaks up, reading one of her poems and…hearing her voice effortlessly string together such pretty prose is something that makes all his embarrassment and worry worth it. When it’s over he’s a bit too blown away to clap. He just stares at her, lips parted a bit from his awe.

He remembers himself when she looks back at him, a patent and lovely smile upon her face.

“Now, Mario, why don’t you share a bit of your writing?”

Mario’s body jerks back upright and he coughs, remembering his shame. All he really has is what he threw together, but he came this far. He’s gotta go through with it. He takes a breath and then gives a weak smile. “Ah…I don’t have very much.”

“That’s alright,” Peach tries to smooth his apprehension “Please, read us some.”

Mario nods and digs around in his folder. There’s some ok plot outlines and a short story he doesn’t absolutely hate and-

How did that get in this folder?

Mario sputters, face lighting a deep red. He knew he lost that story somewhere. How did it end up in his sharing folder?! Thank goodness he saw it when he did. If anyone else saw-, he doesn’t even want to consider that!

And, of course, as he rushes to grab that paper and hide it somewhere in his pocket or something, it slips from his fingers and wafts across the room.

The blood drains from his face as it lands, a moment of pure silence falling across the gathering.

He dives for it, but Zelda is faster, teleporting to and away before Mario can get there. “W-Wait!” He manages, scrambling to his feet. “Not that one! That wasn’t supposed to be in that folder!”

“Oh, Mario, it’s alright.” Peach soothes him, standing and placing a hand on his shoulder. “Do not be embarrassed. We are all trying to learn and better our writing skills. Not everything we try will be perfect. Hopefully, we can give you some constructive criticism.”

“W-Wait, Peach-,” Mario makes a frantic grab in the wisdom holder’s direction. “Princess Zelda, please don’t read-“

“C’mon, it can’t be that bad, Red.” Daisy rolls her eyes.

Samus nods neutrally, and Jiggilypuff does an adorable roll in her chair. Robin and Lucina don’t bother glancing up from their own reading material. No one understands his urgency. His terror.

“You don’t understand!” Mario cries, sweat starting to pour down his face “It, I-“

Zelda speaks, her eyes vacant in their gaze at Mario’s paper.

_“You are a godless creature” Simon spits between his pained gasps. “And I will strike you down like one.”_

_Ganondorf drinks his rage, bathes with it. “Godless?” He chuckles “No, I am a god.”_

_A fist is brought to blond hair, pulling back the slayer’s head inch by inch, until every bit of Simon’s neck is bared to the Demon King’s mercy “And I will have you worship me as one.”_

That was it, then. Mario’s life was over. It hadn’t been that bad a life, overall. He’d had many good years, friends and family, a good career. In the end he didn’t have too many regrets. Well, except this of course. Besides that, he accepted it. Everyone had to go sometime, and there was no fighting fate.

Mario feels at peace in his last moments. Blue eyes shut as he waits for the end.

There is silence. Deafening silence. Is that what the Underwhere sounded like? Silence? Was he already there, wherever there was? It wasn’t so bad, a tame end, despite his unending sin.

The hand on his shoulder squeezes him softly, and he realizes he’s still very much alive, and in the same spot. Slowly, his eyes creep back open.

Everyone has stood, a dark gaze upon his form from every corner. He looks to Peach at his side, and her expression is too pulled up into a mysterious darkness.

“Mario…” Peach speaks to him, her voice cool. Calm, despite the world and everything else. “…Would you care to join us in the….other writing room?”

“O-Other room?” Mario manages.

All the rest nod to each other, one at a time, as if they are coming to a silent agreement. 

“She will need to give her approval.” The Wii fit trainer says, stretching her arm over her head.  
Corrin nods in agreement. “We’ll ask for her guidance.”

“Who?”

“Worry not, my hero.” Peach soothes him, gripping his shoulders and leading him to the back of the room “You will understand soon. Very soon.”

Robin stands from across the room. Rosalina floats to her side, and like dancers they raise their arms in unison, swaying and chanting soft words. Bolts of light fly from their instruments to strike the far wall. Mario gasps as runes appear over the surface, and slowly a section of wall descends into the flooring to reveal a darkened, winding passage deeper below.

“Can I come this time?” The Pokémon Trainer asks, bounding on her feet. 

Daisy points at Zelda “Rating?”

Zelda looks at Mario’s paper for a very long moment. She lets out a whistle.

“Sorry, dear.” Peach soothes the younger girl. “We can talk about fluff next meeting, ok?”

“Aw, well, ‘k.” The trainer picks up Jigglypuff. “Let’s write together then!”

“Jiggly!”

One by one the others enter the space. Peach softly urges him to follow. As he takes the first step inside touches come alive, lighting themselves one by one down a winding hall. Mario can’t stifle a shudder at the energy, the atmosphere crawling out from the hidden hallway. “Don’t be frightened.” Peach’s voice calms him. “I have a feeling you’ll like what you find.”

Down, down, down the tight, dark hall. The path widens and narrows at random. Minutes pass, and beyond Mario’s pounding heart there is only the sound of distant snickers and coos. They frighten him in a way, but not as one would expect. He doesn’t feel like he’s being dragged to hell. No. Instead, this creeping darkness, the tension in the air…

It’s like an old friend.

They come to a large circular room. It resembles the actual club room, but instead of basic folding chairs there are carved stone thrones. Monolithic bookshelves line the walls, scrolls strewn about the tables in frenzy. In the center of it all in an altar. Its purpose unknown to him, but even just setting his eyes on its form…It’s something depraved. Something beyond his feeble human comprehension.

He’s stood in front of the altar. Peach soothes him as others throw a robe over his clothes, and then don the dark fabrics themselves. “It will all be alright, dear. It will be over before you know it…”

Zelda passes to Peach Mario’s work. Despite everything else it sends a wash of panic through him, she can’t see it, she can’t. What will she think of him?!

Peach sees his terror. She smiles so kindly at him. As if to accommodate his fear she doesn’t look, only stands aside him and fixes her gaze back to the altar.

The others stand at their thrones, and a chant rises through their throats. 

“Fluff…”

“Hurt/Comfort…”

“Smut…”

“AU’s…”

“Fluff…”

“Slow Burn…”

“Enemies to Lovers…”

“Fluff…”

“PWP…”

“Rhinoceros Beetle-, I mean Fluff, again…”

“The elements of ship! Oh goddess, we summon you! Please, take this sacrifice!” Peach places Mario’s page on the alter. An explosion of light blinds him, forcing him to stagger backward. A soft ringing rattles through his skull as he stands there and blinks, disoriented.

Slowly, his eyes come back into focus, and he looks up in awe at the apparition in front of him. A great goddess looks at his offered fanfic, face impassive as her eyes study the words up and down. The silence is pensive. Peach at his side is tense. Afraid. Afraid for him.

He is being judged.

Palutena turns it over, mulling the words. Sharp eyes slowly settle on him, studying his face, before they fall back to his fic. When the goddess speaks her voice is firm, a tone of unwavering finality.

“This some good shit, boi. Post more pls.”

Then she is gone, not even a whisper on the wind remaining. With her his fic had vanished, to a land beyond his reality.

Mario lets out a breath he hadn’t known he’d held. The next is taken sharply when arms circle his back, his princess beaming so brightly at him. “I knew it would all be alright, my hero. I am so pleased!”

“So you’ve been officially accepted? I’m surprised, Red. Never thought you’d have it in you.” Daisy comes up and socks him lightly in the shoulder. “Welcome to the family! Can’t wait to read all your nasty stuff, and hey, wait ‘till you get a load of my F/F compilation!”

“Um…what do you think of Coffeeshop AU’s?” Isabella asks, tail wagging with her excitement. “I’d love to share some.”

“Oneshots.” Zelda nods. “Give me them. All of them, if you please.”

“W-Wait…” Mario’s gaze creeps across the room, to every face. “You mean…all of you…you all…”

They all nod. Mario finds himself shocked. Lost. Amazed.

Slowly his eyes fall back to Peach, the gentle smile on her face having not wavered. “Princess, you…” he swallows. “You write shipping fanfic?”

“I do have a soft spot for romance.” She giggles. Mario looks at her with wide eyes and parted lips.

And he absolutely falls for her all over again.

“Make out make out make out-“A Mii Brawler stage whispers. 

A Gunner smacks her “You’re ruining it-

“No way.” A sword fighter shrugs. “NOTP. Gimmie my Peach/Samus back.”

“Yessss, Rare Pair Hype-“

“Come on, Mario/Peach is basically canon.”

“Dude it’s fanfic who cares about canon ships.”

“Canon>Non-canon ships.”

“FiGHt mE-!”

Wii Fit Trainer shushes them, gesturing to a prominent sign “NO SHIP WARS EXCEPT FOR IN DESIGNATED WAR ZONE”

In response, the three trudge to the far corner behind the dotted yellow line and go at it.

Mario coughs, still stuck with a bit of a blush on his face as he looks back to his princess. “It’s…” he hesitates a second. “So, you…Ah…”

“…would you like to see what I have?” Peach takes his hand in a soft grip, eyes looking deep into his own. Barely, he manages to nod.

Hours tick by as he devours her fics. Angsty and Fluffy and oh so good. He never would have thought, not even imagined she would understand. That she would indulge in the very same sin as his. And the quality! He’s awed by her yet again by her plots, the emotion she can convey between the characters. 

He hears Bayonetta pour over pining between Link/Sheik, hears Robin and Corrin discuss the fine points of the Fox/Falco dynamic, Daisy belts out her newly crafted PWP of Samus/Snake…they’re all having real, actual fun, aren’t they?

Mario is having fun, too. This club…maybe there was a place for him here.

Peach prompts him gently, and after some hesitation he finds himself overwhelmed by her soft blue eyes. “It’s…” Mario coughs “It’s my first time…sharing it.”

“It’s alright. I’ll be gentle with you, my hero.” She soothes him. He takes out his notebook, leaving the original work folder behind. The full range of his depravity becomes forever exposed to her. All his ships, canon and non-canon, rare and common, every rating under the sun…

And she accepts them with nothing but a smile, welcomes them with appreciation and enjoyment. Mario’s chest aches in so many ways. He’s so happy to finally share this with someone. Feels so awful for having lied to her to have hid it. Most of all he’s…

“Are you ok, dear? You are very flushed?”

“Ah, I-I’m ok, Princess.” Mario lowers his face. He absolutely hadn’t been leaning in looking for a kiss or something nope not him definitely not.

Mario is startled at the sound of a buzzer. Everyone groans and starts to remove their robes, putting away their fics on the shelves and shaking hands as one by one they go back up the stairs. “Huh? What’s…?”

Peach sighs, sounding disappointed. “Meeting is over now, dear.”

“Oh…” He didn’t know they had so little time…

“How did you enjoy it?” They start up the stairs, and the trip out feels disappointingly quicker than in. Mario tucks his notebook back in his overall pocket and looks at her.

“Ah, I had fun. I had a lot of fun, actually. Is...can I…?”

“Would you like to come again, next meeting?” Peach finishes for him. He flusters a bit and nods. 

The look on her face is gentle in response “Nothing would make me happier than if you would.” 

No doubt his cheeks are bright red, but she doesn’t, never would tease him for it. Mario notices the time – he actually has a match in about twenty minutes. He should really get ready for it…

“Please understand, that we all ask you to keep our…meeting room and activities confidential.” Peach asks. Mario nods immediately, and then…hesitates a moment.

“Peach, this…” Mario finds himself struggling to put his thoughts into words. The princess looks on at him, tilting her head a bit in concern.

“This won’t…change anything, right? Between us?” Mario asks, looking away from her eyes. It was such a weird hobby to have, and even if Peach shared it, that didn’t mean that she could look at him the same. 

A giggle comes from Peach’s throat, and Mario is left blinking stupidly as she pulls up his hat and presses a small kiss to his forehead. “Not ever, dear.”

A bashful grin beams on his face, and he tugs the cap back down to hide it.

“…although.” Mario’s a bit shocked to see her turn nervous of all things. “I…There is something I wish to ask from you, my hero.”

Mario prays she can’t hear his heart pound. “Y-Yes, Princess?”

“Would…” the princess takes his hands in hers. Mario can’t help but notice how delicate they are. How small and slim and gentle. “Would you…?”

He looks back to her eyes. They shimmer under the lights, looking to his with earnest desire. “My hero…Would you be my beta reader?”

“P-Peach-!” Mario gasps, not even realizing it. He feels dizzy, mind numb from joy. “M-My Princess…I…I will.”

“Oh, Mario…”

Mario does attend the next meeting, this one purely G-rated. It’s a blast, sharing cute stories with everyone. Someone even wrote a drabble of him and Peach and, oh man, he’s never been so happy and embarrassed at the same time before. He got some great feedback on his Olimar/Captain Falcon fic, and worked out a co-authorship with Isabelle for a Palutena/Bayonetta domestic AU…

But the moment he looked forward to the most, what really made him smile, was nothing but shutting his eyes and listening to his princess’s soft voice reading out her prose…

…even though she shipped him with Wario instead of herself.

Oh! The woes of love!


End file.
